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Thursday, February 18, 2016

Murphy's Top-10 "Combat" Laws Of The ...

Locker Room: If there are two or more people in a locker room, their lockers shall be in close proximity to or immediately next to one another's.

Supermarket Checkout: Whichever checkout lane you choose, there shall be a cashier change, price check, or check writer in front of you and all other lanes shall move more quickly than the one you chose.

Airplane: The crying/unruly child, most obese or largest person, and/or biggest asshole (the guy who keeps his phone on during takeoff, the undercover vaper, etc.) shall be seated next to you.

Traffic Jam: The lane with the fastest moving traffic shall slow to a crawl as soon as you move to that lane with the cars in the lane you were in whizzing past you.

Clothing: When putting on a shirt, pair of pants, sock or hat in the dark or when tired, it shall go on backwards, causing you to take it off, turn it around and put it on correctly.

Dryer: If there are at least two socks in a clothes dryer, one sock shall go missing, never to be seen again.

Golf: When hitting a shot, the ball shall hit a tree (even though we all know they are "90% air") or come to rest immediately next to or behind said tree.

Phone Calls: Even though you rarely receive a phone call, someone shall call you as soon as you need to do something important (going into a job interview) or are otherwise in a rush (late for an appointment).

Car: Your car shall run out of gas, fail to start, or die at the most inopportune time or in the most remote place possible. The battery on your phone shall also be almost if not completely dead or there shall be little if any signal available at your location.

Price Check: Whether you have two or 50 items in the store checkout lane, at least one item shall scan with the wrong price, causing you to decide whether or not to hold-up the line for a price check or eat the price difference (which is ALWAYS more than the price listed on the shelf).

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Title: Murphy's Top-10 "Combat" Laws Of The ...



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