The Old Spaghetti Factory
730 SE 160th Avenue
Vancouver, WA 98684
Phone number: (360) 253-9030
Prices: $$$$
It's been decades since I last set foot in The Old Spaghetti Factory, and after this mission, I remember exactly why I went AWOL from the place. But in the Portland/Vancouver AO (Area of Operations), where decent Italian food is rarer than common sense in a staff meeting, our options are limited to chain chow halls like this one or Olive Garden--or we cook our own rations at home.
Veal Parmigiana? Fuggetaboutit. In Portland, the land of "progressive" cuisine and political correctness run amok, serving veal would probably trigger a protest faster than you can say Buon appetito.
I went with the Chicken Parmigiana ($22.99)--a breaded chicken breast buried under melted cheese and tomato sauce, served with Garlic Mizithra spaghetti. I called in two meatball reinforcements ($4.50), seasoned and sauced for backup. The chicken was scrawny and uninspired, but the meatballs were at least decent--nothing to write home about, but not an MRE either.
My wife ordered the Chicken Marsala ($22.99), supposedly "a seasoned breast of tender chicken with mushroom and Marsala wine sauce, served alongside spaghetti with Mizithra cheese and browned butter." Sounds good on paper. Problem was, the Marsala sauce apparently contained tomato--for reasons known only to the kitchen gods--so she had to substitute Alfredo sauce instead. Result: bland, uninspired, and about as exciting as KP duty.
Service was friendly enough, but slower than a Monday morning staff meeting. We were one of only three tables during a lifeless lunch shift, yet it still felt like waiting for a resupply convoy stuck in the desert.
When the dust settled, the damage was $75 plus tip for a couple of unimpressive entrees and a reminder of why I hadn't been here since the Clinton administration. Mediocre food, slow service, and inflated prices--this operation failed to meet mission objectives.
CombatCritic Gives The Old Spaghetti Factory 5 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better - Unless You're On The Receiving End ... HOOAH!
Five Bombs Equates To:
Translation for Civilians: "Continue Mission"
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Title: Vancouver, WA: MREs With Marinara
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