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His Holiness and I

By C.T. Sorrentino “His Holiness”. I first saw him on TV, a documentary, 60 Minutes, I forget exactly where or when, but he i...

Monday, September 9, 2019

Portland, OR: Holy Cow! Does Voodoo Doll Have Something In His Pocket Or Is He Just Happy To See Me?

Voodoo Doughnut
22 SW 3rd Avenue
Portland, OR 97204
Old Town
Phone number (503) 241-4704
Prices: $$$$

If you have never been to Voodoo Doughnut, give 'em a try. The original location is here in downtown Portland (Old Town), but they have shops in Eugene (OR), Denver (CO), Universal Studios Hollywood (CA) and Orlando (FL), as well as Austin (TX).



These photos are from our trip to the original shop in Old Town yesterday. As you can see, their look is quite eclectic, colorful, and retro, the menu a bit pornographic, and THE DONUTS ARE GREAT! 




Most donuts run between 75¢ (plain cake) to $3.25 with a couple in the $5 to $7.50 range. Dozens range from $14 to $18 unless you want to pick your own. They even have vegan doughnuts, although I do not know how many. You can reportedly get a coffin (photo above) full of donuts for $130.







Their menu is a tad on the perverted side, with a Cock-n-Balls going for $6.50, a Triple Chocolate Penetration is $2, a Butterfingering is $2, an Old Dirty Bastard is $3, a Portland Cream (the Official Doughnut of Portland) is $2.25, and /or, finally, a Custom Cock going for $7.50, not a bad deal considering the fact that creating a doughnut that looks like a rooster is probably a very intricate and time consuming process! C'est la vie, after all, their slogan is: "The Magic Is In The Hole".

We got a Bacon and Maple ($3.25), an Apple Fritter ($3), and a Voodoo Doll ($3.50). The bacon and maple was glazed and covered with maple icing with crisscrossed slices of fried bacon on top and it was OK, but the taste was a bit weird and not really my thing. The apple fritter was big and tasty, but it could have been much crispier in my opinion. And, last-but-not-last, the voodoo doll (see above) was also glazed, iced with chocolate, colorfully decorated to look like a perverted gingerbread man complete with a sugary confection erection (see photos). As Harry Carey would have said, "Holy cow!".
BOO!
Hey, Voodoo Doll, is that something in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? 

Yep, you're happy
The only negatives are that you should have your E ticket ready ("E" does not stand for "electronic" - SoCal natives will know what I am talking about) because there always seems to be a line outside, sometimes with several dozen people queueing up to get in. They even have a serpentine setup for their line just like the ones at the Magic Kingdom. Finally, the cashiers are never particularly friendly, not quite rude, but seemingly indifferent to customers. I presume that after their 700th customer of the day, they could get a bit cranky, but there is never an excuse for not treating customers with the utmost courtesy, friendliness, dignity and respect. They get a two BOMB deduction for the grouchy employees, otherwise, Voodoo Doughnuts would have gotten my PERFECT SCORE and a spot on CombatCritic's "WALL OF FAME".
So, march on down to a Voodoo Doughnut near you for an overload on your sensations' of sight, smell, and taste. The massive wall painting just across the street wraps this place up in a nutshell: "Keep Portland Weird". If you happen to go to the original location, tell 'em CombatCritic sent you ... HOOAH!
CombatCritic Gives The Original Voodoo Doughnuts 8 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!
Eight Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "What-The-Fuck ... Over!"

Oh, and keeping with the theme of this review ... BITE ME!

Read this and many other reviews from around the world on my popular blog, CombatCritic's TravelValue - www.CombatCritic.com  - 70,000+ Visitors a Year ... And Counting!


Read More Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp "GOLD" ELITE '14/'15/'16/'17/'18/'19 
  • 650,000+ Views A Year
Read Chris S.'s review of Voodo Doughnut - Old Town on Yelp

Tabelog - Official Judge - "Silver"

Zomato - #1 Ranked "VERIFIED" CONNOISSEUR (13) - Over  4 Million Review And Photo Views ... And Counting #1 Reviewer in Portland, Oregon!
Booking.com - Frequent Traveler "Genius"

Google Maps - "Top Photographer" With Over 3 Million Views!

View my food journey on Zomato!

View my food journey on Zomato!

View my food journey on Zomato!

... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube and our sister channel, CombatCounselor Chronicleswith Over 1,250 Subscribers and 1,000,000 Video Views ... HOOAH!

Title: Portland, OR: Holy Cow! Does Voodoo Doll Have Something In His Pocket Or Is He Just Happy To See Me?

Key Words: Portland, Oregon, OR, Voodoo Doughnut, voodoo, doughnut, donut, Old Town, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, menu, product, business, review, Yelp, Zomato, Google, Facebook, shop


Copyright 2019 - 3rd Wave Media Group And CombatCritic ™ - All Rights Reserved

Saturday, August 31, 2019

Washougal, WA: SOLID - Shelby's Rivals KC Barbecue, Some Of The Best You Can Get

Shelby's Grille
419 E Street
Washougal, WA 98671
Phone number: (360) 835-1103
Prices: $$$$

SOLID. No BS here like I had at a place in downtown Washougal recently, Shelby's has fresh, hot food (not frozen); excellent and friendly service; and fair prices. What more can you ask for?



It was chow time, so we headed to Shelby's for the first time and I am not quite sure why we waited so long because I had heard good things about them. The decor is simple and nostalgic with tasteful maple wainscoting and knick-knacks adorning the walls. Best of all, it was very clean! We were met with a smile and a welcome, then taken immediately to a booth in the main dining room (the pub-style lounge was also an option).

I asked about happy hour and was told that it was from 2-5pm daily in the lounge, so we were a bit late anyway. Their happy hour food menu looked appealing with a few real bargains like a hamburger or BBQ sandwich for $7 or street tacos for $3 a piece. I was a bit dismayed by their happy hour drink discounts with just 50¢ off of wells ($8-$11), wine ($9), and beer ($6). Their drinks are not particularly cheap, so a food deal is definitely in order.
My wife got the Mushroom and Havarti Burger ($13) with grilled mushrooms, caramelized onions, lettuce, tomato and garlic mayo, coming with a large side o' fries, a relative bargain in this town ... HOOAH! Her meal was hot, obviously freshly made, and very tasty. The meat looked fresh and the Havarti was real cheese, not the processed cheese-like squares some places serve their customers.

I had a hankerin' for some BBQ, so I asked for the Brisket Plate ($14.50) with 6 ounces of brisket so tender and juicy that you could cut it with a fork, choice of two sides (fries, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, hush puppies, brussel sprouts and bacon, etc. - I had the fries and hush puppies), choice of BBQ sauce, and cornbread and butter. The brisket was scrummy, perfectly cooked and seasoned, and the fries were cut in house and hot and crispy, just like I like them. The brisket rivaled some of the best BBQ I had during our 11 years living in Kansas City, a city where you can find some of the best BBQ in the world. The hush puppies were also very good, crispy outside and soft and moist inside although I could taste neither the bacon nor the jalapeños purportedly contained therein. 

The only negatives were minor ones: the temperature inside (could have been 4-5 degrees cooler); the minuscule happy hour drink discount; and the honey for the cornbread we were promised, but which never quite materialized. Those minor infractions were the only things separating this review from a perfect rating, a rating I do not routinely hand out as readily as many other reviewers do. So there ya have it ... good grub!

CombatCritic Gives Shelby's Grille 8 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Eight Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "What-The-Fuck ... Over!"

Read More Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp "GOLD" ELITE '14/'15/'16/'17/'18/'19 
  • 650,000+ Views A Year
Read Chris S.'s review of Shelby's Grille on Yelp

Shelby's Bar & Grill Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

Tabelog - Official Judge - "Silver"

Zomato - #1 Ranked "VERIFIED" CONNOISSEUR (13) - Over  4 Million Review And Photo Views ... And Counting #1 Reviewer in Portland, Oregon!
Booking.com - Frequent Traveler "Genius"

Google Maps - "Top Photographer" With Over 3 Million Views!



View my food journey on Zomato!
View my food journey on Zomato!

View my food journey on Zomato!

... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube and our sister channel, CombatCounselor Chronicleswith Over 1,250 Subscribers and 1,000,000 Video Views ... HOOAH!

Title: Washougal, WA: SOLID - Shelby's Rivals KC Barbecue, Some Of The Best You Can Get

Key Words: Washougal, WA, Shelby's Grille, Shelby's, grille, grill, brisket, KC, Kansas City, barbecue, BBQ, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, Zomato


Copyright 2019 - 3rd Wave Media Group And CombatCritic ™ - All Rights Reserved

Saturday, August 17, 2019

Ridgefield, WA: Yelp Elites Treated Like Kings And Queens By "His Airness"

Elite Event: High Steaks Gambling @ Michael Jordan Steakhouse
1 Cowlitz Way
Ridgefield, WA 98642
Prices: $$$$

Being Elite is pretty awesome, especially when we get pampered like we did at Yelp"s High Steaks Elite Event at Michael Jordan Steakhouse at the Ilani Casino.
Met at the entrance of the restaurant with a large glass of Cherry-Raspberry Sangria, we were escorted to a private room in the back and a private terrace with several large Adirondack chairs around a large gas fire pit as well as a couple of high tops and chairs. We were warmly welcomed by the manager and chef as platters full of appetizers arrived, Steak House Bruschetta (shaved USDA prime steak and chimichurri bleu cheese) and Ahi Tuna Poke Bites (Ahi tuna, avocado, sweet onion, and wonton crisp). I am not a raw fish or poke fan, but the steak house bruschetta was delicious. 




We were then given a tour of the restaurant, including the restaurant's wine cellar and kitchen, before heading back to our private room for a family-style feast. There were two tables with 7-8 of us at each and each table received platters full of starters, including Garlic Bread topped with a hot bleu cheese fondue, Double Smoked Bacon in a black maple pepper sauce, and New Orleans Style Barbecue Shrimp. I did not get to taste the bacon, but the shrimp were scrumptious and the garlic bread sublime. More drinks accompanied the starters, for me a tasty Old Fashioned made by muddling sugar with bitters, then adding whiskey and a twist of citrus rind.











Next came two massive wood platters full of 40 ounces of sliced USDA steak, a ribeye, a New York strip, and a Delmonico (a thick ribeye made popular by New York City's Delmonico's restaurant) all served medium-rare. Accompanying the steaks were a number of side dishes scattered about, including a zesty corn off the cob, fried brussel sprouts, mashed potatoes, and mac and cheese. The steaks were perfectly seasoned, juicy and tender, so tender that it nearly melted in my mouth, and the sides were all delicious in their own right. This course was accompanied by a glass of wine, a smooth, blend of Pacific Northwest reds.
The grand finale consisted of two massive slices of 21 Layer Chocolate Cake and two large bowl full of Warm Peach Cobbler at each table to be shared and savored by all ... WOW!

I was extremely impressed with the location, environment, drinks, service and food. The staff's hospitality was superb the entire evening and they even took the time to line-up to bid us farewell as we departed this incredible event ... HOOAH!

CombatCritic Gives Elite Event: High Steaks Gambling @ Michael Jordan Steakhouse 10 Bombs Out Of 10 And A Spot On My "WALL OF FAME" ... More Bombs Are Better!

Ten Bombs Equates To:


Translation for Civilians: 

HOOAH!: "Phonetic spelling of the acronym HUA, which stands for 'Heard Understood Acknowledged.' Originally used by the British in the late 1800's in Afghanistan. More recently adopted by the United States Army to indicate an affirmative or a pleased response." - Urban Dictionary

"The Department of Military Science and Leadership, University of Tennessee claim HOOAH 'refers to or means anything except no' ... Regardless of its meaning ... the term is an expression of high morale, confidence, motivation and spirit." - WarChronicle.com

"The U.S. Air Force stole 'HOOAH' from the Army because we were part of the Army until 1947 and rather than waste a bunch of time coming up with something new and unique like "ROO-YAH" or "HAL-A-LOO-YAH", we said 'screw it, let's go with HOOAH' ... thanks Army ... HOOAH!" - CombatCritic
Read More Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp "GOLD" ELITE '14/'15/'16/'17/'18/'19 
  • 650,000+ Views A Year
Tabelog - Official Judge - "Silver"


Zomato - #1 Ranked "VERIFIED" CONNOISSEUR (13) - Over  4 Million Review And Photo Views ... And Counting #1 Reviewer in Portland, Oregon!
Booking.com - Frequent Traveler "Genius"

Google Maps - "Top Photographer" With Over 3 Million Views!

View my food journey on Zomato!

View my food journey on Zomato!

View my food journey on Zomato!

... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube and our sister channel, CombatCounselor Chronicleswith Over 1,250 Subscribers and 1,000,000 Video Views ... HOOAH!


Title: Ridgefield, WA: Yelp Elites Treated Like Kings And Queens By "His Airness"

Key Words: Ridgefield, WA, Ilani, casino, Yelp, Elite, Michael Jordan, Michael, Jordan, steak, house His Airness, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, Facebook, Portland, 

Copyright 2019 - 3rd Wave Media Group And CombatCritic ™ - All Rights Reserved

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