CombatCritic's TravelValue™

Tuesday, November 11, 2025

Vancouver, WA: MREs With Marinara

The Old Spaghetti Factory

730 SE 160th Avenue

Vancouver, WA 98684

Phone number: (360) 253-9030

osf.com

Prices: $$$$

It's been decades since I last set foot in The Old Spaghetti Factory, and after this mission, I remember exactly why I went AWOL from the place. But in the Portland/Vancouver AO (Area of Operations), where decent Italian food is rarer than common sense in a staff meeting, our options are limited to chain chow halls like this one or Olive Garden--or we cook our own rations at home.

Veal Parmigiana? Fuggetaboutit. In Portland, the land of "progressive" cuisine and political correctness run amok, serving veal would probably trigger a protest faster than you can say Buon appetito.

I went with the Chicken Parmigiana ($22.99)--a breaded chicken breast buried under melted cheese and tomato sauce, served with Garlic Mizithra spaghetti. I called in two meatball reinforcements ($4.50), seasoned and sauced for backup. The chicken was scrawny and uninspired, but the meatballs were at least decent--nothing to write home about, but not an MRE either.

My wife ordered the Chicken Marsala ($22.99), supposedly "a seasoned breast of tender chicken with mushroom and Marsala wine sauce, served alongside spaghetti with Mizithra cheese and browned butter." Sounds good on paper. Problem was, the Marsala sauce apparently contained tomato--for reasons known only to the kitchen gods--so she had to substitute Alfredo sauce instead. Result: bland, uninspired, and about as exciting as KP duty.

Service was friendly enough, but slower than a Monday morning staff meeting. We were one of only three tables during a lifeless lunch shift, yet it still felt like waiting for a resupply convoy stuck in the desert.

When the dust settled, the damage was $75 plus tip for a couple of unimpressive entrees and a reminder of why I hadn't been here since the Clinton administration. Mediocre food, slow service, and inflated prices--this operation failed to meet mission objectives.

CombatCritic Gives The Old Spaghetti Factory 5 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better - Unless You're On The Receiving End ... HOOAH!

Five Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Continue Mission"

MENU

1.3+ MILLION VISITORS AND COUNTING ... HOOAH!

408,000 VISITORS IN THE PAST 12 MONTHS ... OOH-RAH!

Friday, October 31, 2025

Portland, OR: RAYUS Radiology: Locked, Loaded, and Professional 🎯💣

RAYUS Radiology

233 NE 102nd Avenue

Portland, OR 97220

Phone number: (503) 253-1105

rayusradiology.com

I got sent to RAYUS Radiology by my urologist after some suspicious PSA readings — potential cancer on the radar. Unfortunately, they were booked solid for two months. Not ideal when you’re staring down possible enemy fire.

Then came the real hero of this mission — the appointment specialist. She went above and beyond, flagged my name, and promised to call if an opening popped up. Two weeks later, she delivered. Got the call, locked in the appointment, and I was on the MRI table the very next day. That’s how you execute a contingency plan, folks.

The MRI tech was a total pro — calm, clear, and compassionate — a rare combo in modern medicine. He explained the whole procedure like a seasoned NCO giving a pre-mission brief, kept me steady, and made sure I knew exactly what to expect.

Results were in the next day. Good news: no enemy contact on the radar for now. Still, this is a watch-and-hold operation — I’ll be keeping a close eye on PSA levels for months ahead.

Professionalism. Precision. Compassion. That’s RAYUS Radiology.

CombatCritic Gives RAYUS Radiology 9 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better … Unless You’re On The Receiving End!

Nine Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "U.S. Marine Response To A Verbal Greeting Or As An Expression Of Enthusiasm"

1.3+ MILLION VISITORS AND COUNTING ... HOOAH!

408,000 VISITORS IN THE PAST 12 MONTHS ... OOH-RAH!

Thursday, October 16, 2025

Washougal, WA: We Walked Into A Trap, But Won't Be Coming Through That Door Anytime Soon

Trap Door Brewery

1834 Main Street

Washougal, WA 98671

(360) 314-6966

trapdoorbrewing.com/home

Prices: $$$$

$17 for a 5-inch Italian sub and $9 for a pint? Give me a break!

The food was meh, the servers couldn’t crack a smile if their lives depended on it, and the prices are flat-out insulting. I just spent 4+ years in Europe where inflation was the same (thanks Joe), yet restaurant prices didn’t skyrocket like they have here. The only explanation: good old-fashioned American greed.

The fondue was decent and the best value on the menu.

That “Italian sub” barely stretched six inches and had a whisper of meat and cheese. At best, it was worth $10 … maybe. Charging $17 is highway robbery with a pickle on the side.

Washougal doesn’t need another overpriced brewpub—there are already too many of those, along with sushi joints and Chinese takeout. A mom & pop Italian restaurant with red and white checker tablecloths and candles melting down Chianti bottles would be a welcome sight this side of Olive Garden. This was our first visit and it will be our last.

CombatCritic gives Trap Door Brewery 4 Bombs Out Of 10 … More Bombs Are Better … Unless You’re On The Receiving End!

Four Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Bend Over, Here It Comes Again"

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Vancouver, WA: MREs With Marinara

Tuesday, November 11, 2025

Vancouver, WA: MREs With Marinara

Friday, October 31, 2025

Portland, OR: RAYUS Radiology: Locked, Loaded, and Professional 🎯💣

Thursday, October 16, 2025

Washougal, WA: We Walked Into A Trap, But Won't Be Coming Through That Door Anytime Soon

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