CombatCritic's TravelValue™: French

Showing posts with label French. Show all posts

Thursday, October 16, 2025

Vancouver, WA: Not a lotta France in this so-called French joint, mon ami

La Provence

17719 SE Mill Plain Blvd

Vancouver, WA 98683

Phone number: (360) 946-4250

provencepdx.com

Prices: $$$$

Walked into La Provence expecting Paris ... got Portland with a beret. Other than croissants and baguettes, there's not much waving the tricolor here.

My Mission: Bourguignon Brunch - $21

Braised beef in a "red wine ancho chili sauce" over a battlefield of butternut squash, bacon, leek, potato, green pepper, harissa, and jalapeño, topped with an egg and horseradish crème. Sounds tactical, right? Wrong. The butternut squash threw a frag into the operation -- mushy, weirdly sweet, and out of place. Beef was MIA on flavor.

My Wife's Objective: Strawberry Pistachio Praline French Toast - $17

A brioche stuffed with strawberry crème, topped with strawberries, whipped cream, pistachio praline, orange crème, and cardamom sugar. Over-the-top? Sure. But she was grinning like a Parisian on leave, so mission accomplished on that front.

The Final Insult: Éclair - $7.50

Seven-fifty ... for a pastry smaller than a 9mm mag? You've gotta be kidding me. I've eaten better out of a French MRE.

Bottom Line: Not bad, not great. If they actually served real French food -- cassoulet, escargot, beef bourguignon, coq au vin -- I might saddle up again. Until then, this is just "Washington Provence."

CombatCritic Gives La Provence 5 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better - Unless You're On The Receiving End ... HOOAH!

💣💣💣💣💣

Five Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Continue Mission"

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Wednesday, January 3, 2024

York, Yorkshire, England: Rustique Was A Mistaque ... C’est la Vie!

Rustique (French)

28 Castlegate

York YO1 9RP United Kingdom

Phone: +44 190 461 2744

Web: rustiqueyork.co.uk

Prices: € € € €

I adore French food and when I saw there was a French restaurant in York that had good reviews and fairly reasonable prices, I made a reservation for our first of four nights in town.

We were seated quickly and had a nice table on the main floor. Our drink orders were taken post haste, a bottle of Les Vignerons - Carignan Syrah (£25.15) and a pineapple juice (£2.25), and delivered equally as fast. The male server arrived with an open bottle and started pouring, chug-a-lug-a-lug, no tasting, just sloppily emptying the bottle into my glass. It was tremendously unimpressive. Great start!

We both ordered the three-course Set Menu (£25.95). For our entrees, I had the Moules Marinieres à la Creme (mussels in a wine, garlic, herb, and cream sauce) and my wife the Champignons a L'Ail (mushrooms in a garlic cream sauce).

My mussels were plentiful for a starter and fresh, but I could barely taste the wine, garlic, or cream. The sauce was watery. My wife's mushrooms were very tasty. On to Les Plats Principaux ...

Mine was the Steak Frites with Mushroom Sauce and my wife's the Tarte aux Champignons et Pont L'Eveque (mushroom tart with leeks and Pont L'Eveque cheese).

My steak was tiny, four to five ounces max, and half of it was gristle, so I was able to swallow maybe three ounces of it. I told the server that the first bite was very tough, but I never saw her again until I had chewed and spat out half of the steak. The fries were hot and tasty and the mushroom sauce was good, but what a huge disappointment. My spouse enjoyed her tart, but I thought it was rather bland.

For dessert, I asked for the Sèlection de Fromages Francais (French cheese board) and my lovely bride the Crème Brûlèe. My cheeses were very good, with three varieties and coming with a bit of lettuce and a few grapes as well as a small baguette. I left just enough wine in the bottle to savor one of my favorite things in life - cheese, bread, and wine. My wife's crème brûlèe was massive, the biggest I had ever seen, so she hit a triple while I had just s single - she hit 1.000 for the night while I hit a mere .333.

Our server, Didi, was very sweet and felt terrible because I had not enjoyed my meal, so she offered to discount my meal. However, my journalistic integrity would not allow me to accept remuneration for my meal and we paid full fare - £91.20 ($116.50) including tip.

A couple of small things spoiled this meal and both were completely avoidable. A little more wine, garlic, and cream, a minuscule cost for the restaurant, would have brought the mussels to a five-star level. As far as the tiny, cheap cut of meat I received, I had no problem with the size had it been tender because bigger is not always better, just ask my friend's wife. Quality control in the kitchen was obviously lacking, hence my rating ...

CombatCritic Gives Rustique 4 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Four Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Bend Over, Here It Comes Again"

Friday, January 6, 2023

Olhão, Faro, Portugal: Olhão's Very First French Restaurant ... HOOAH!

Chez Henriette French Cafe

Urbani Zacao Village Marina Lt 23 A Lj A

Olhao 8700-240 Portugal

Phone: +33 633 482 289

Facebook.com/ChezHenriette

Prices: €€€€

Finally, a French restaurant in Olhão ... HOOAH!

I had no idea there were several new restaurants at the west end of restaurant row along the Ria Formosa and adjacent to the marina, so when I heard about Chez Henriette, I contacted the owner, Fanny (get your minds out of the gutter Brits), post haste.

They do not have a website, something I do not understand in this day and age, and, like many Portuguese restaurants, use a Facebook page instead. What about those customers who do not want a Facebook page? It was not easy to find their page, but I eventually located it by asking Fanny. The also really need to get a Portuguese phone number so customers do not have to make an international call or download WhatsApp in order to call them.

The menu consists of just three Specials daily, no starters, no soups and just one dessert by the time we got there, but their drinks menu is abundant with option, although there were only three choices of vinho tinto (red wine). THe prices for drinks and food are very fair, just €2.75 for the most expensive glass of red. It was not bad.

I ordered the special, chicken, gravy and vegetables in a potato puree casserole (€10). There were more potatoes than chicken, but it was very tasty and a decent value for the price, coming with a small, simple, fresh side salad.

My wife had the leeks with ham and vegetables special covered with a bechamel sauce, then baked in the oven, also just €10, but it did not come with a salad for some reason. She likes cooked carrots, I do not, and there were many of them topped with leeks and rolled ham, so I had made the right choice. It was very good, sans carrots in my taste, and my wife enjoyed it as well.

I understand that it is favorable and cost effective to do a few things well instead of having an enormous menu, but it would be nice if they would expand the menu just a bit. A couple of starters would be nice, especially escargot, my favorite, along with some crusty bread and french onion soup perhaps. A small selection of desserts and a few more wine options would also be ideal.

For the price, we had a very good meal, leaving satiated, not gorged and enjoyed the colorful, eclectic surroundings as well as Fanny's excellent service and sweet demeanor. We shall return!

CombatCritic Gives Chez Henriette 7 Bombs Out Of 10 With A Little Room For Improvement ... More Bombs Are Better!

Seven Bombs Equates To

Translation for Civilians: "Shits & Grins"

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