CombatCritic's TravelValue™: le

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Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Lyon, France: Want Pizza Napolitana In Lyon? Do Not Bother With This Place

Le Napolitain

69 Rue Ney

69006 Lyon, France

Pizza

Metro: Brotteaux - 6ème Arrondissement

Phone number: +33 9 73 66 17 68

Website: le-napolitain.fr

Prices: €€€€

Not far from our Airbnb, Le Napolitain advertises “authentic Neapolitan pizza”, but it was not anywhere as good as any pizza I have ever had in Naples and that has been many.

The place is small and dimly lit, making it a challenge to read the menu. We were seated in the much less frantic and noisy rear dining room. The pizzaiuolo (pizza maker) practiced her craft, and I use that term loosely, in the entryway.

My wife had a pizza with goat cheese and honey (€13) and I ordered the Pizza Romano (ham, mushrooms and bleu cheese - €14). Having lived in Naples most of her life, my wife knows pizza napolitana as well if not better than anyone, having enjoyed this pizza very much. Mine tasted absolutely terrible, a bit bland, but with an unsettling sweet taste that had no business being on my pizza. I sent it back telling the server that it was inedible.

For the replacement, I decided on something much simpler and less easy to screw up, a pizza with fiore di latte and prosciutto cotto (cow’s milk mozzarella and cooked ham).The edges and bottom of the pizza that was brought to me were burnt and it was also much too thin. The toppings were also too runny, so the pizza became soggy and difficult to eat by hand, but even with a fork, it was a challenge to eat.

Overpriced and extremely underwhelming, what more can you expect from a pizzeria in Lyon? The service was good I have to say and they were compensated appropriately, but I shall not be returning any time soon and recommend that you do not bother.

CombatCritic Gives Le Napolitain 3 Bombs Out Of 10 … More Bombs Are Better!

Three Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Situation Normal, All Fucked Up"

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CombatCritic's Travel Value: France

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Lyon, France: One Mother Of A Meal ... Thanks Jean!

La Mère Jean
5 Rue des Marronniers
69002 Lyon, France
Place Bellecour - 2ème Arrondissement
Phone number: +33 4 78 37 81 27
Prices: €€€€

It was a misty December night in Place Bellecour, the top of the brilliantly lit blue Ferris wheel that dominates the square barely visible beneath the low-lying cloud cover. I was thinking about our meal just a few nights before just around the corner on Rue Marroniers and how good it was, but little did I know that the dinner waiting just ahead was going to be even better. It is no wonder that Lyon is the culinary capital of France, if not the World.

We visited Le Mère Jean, which translates to "The Mother Jean", on our first night in Lyon, a damp, chilly Saturday night, but she was fully booked - "Complet" - so we reserved a table for the following Monday at 7pm. The proprietor, Jean perhaps, recommended Les Comptoirs de Marroniers just down the cobblestone covered road, having learned to cook there as we were told. They were kind enough to make room for us based on her thoughtful recommendation and the subsequent meal was outrageous, a Lyonnaise four-course meal that blew my socks off for just €36, but that my friends is another story altogether.

Le Mere Jean is a small place in an old building, long and narrow, seating only 20-25 diners in a rustic dining room with a tiny kitchen at the back. That small kitchen produced a lot of chow, very good chow, generating a fair amount of heat in the process. A tad warmer than we would have desired, particularly because we were dressed for winter, we quickly acclimated in order to focus on the task at hand. A three-course dinner was waiting for my wife (from the €16 menu) and I (the €19.50 menu) with a 50cl bottle of Cote du Rhone setting us back a mere (no pun intended) €12, a pittance comparatively speaking.

Our first course, or “entrée” as it referred to here, was the Salade Lyonnaise, a huge bowl of fresh, seasonal greens topped with chunks of hot, salty bacon, homemade croutons galore, and two perfectly cooked poached eggs sitting on top. There was more than enough for the two of us and was absolutely wonderful, a recipe I shall incorporate into my own repertoire when we finally get back home.

For our second course, or “plat”, my wife decided on the Chicken Fricasee, large chunks of de-boned chicken breast in a cream sauce that was both rich and flavorful. The Onglet de Bœuf Poêlè Sauce St Marcellin, a steak in a savory cheese sauce, was my choice, accompanied by potatoes Lyonnaise which are very similar to what many have come to know as potatoes au gratin. The steak was of a reasonable portion, about eight to ten ounces (500g), tender, and perfectly cooked to medium on the inside with just the right amount of char out. The cheese sauce that enveloped it was made from the local St Marcellin cheese, a savory, gooey concoction only the French could devise … MERCI BEAUCOUP!

For our third and final course, dessert, my wife had the local favorite, a praline tart. Lyon is famous for their pralines, a pink candy-coated almond I have only seen here. They make a variety of desserts with them, including a praline brioche and, in this case, a crispy, baked pastry filled with a praline cream that resembled a small strawberry pie ... YUM! I had a warm chocolate cake surrounded by a sweet cream that was rich and delicious.

An incredible dinner for two, both three-course meals, and a bottle of wine set us back just $65, the best $65 I have spent in a long, long time. I am sure that I will fondly reminisce about my many superb meals while visiting Lyon, but this was one that I will not soon forget … HOOAH!

CombatCritic Gives Mère de Jean 10 Bombs Out Of 10 And A Spot On My WALL OF FAME … More Bombs Are Better!

Ten Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians:

HOOAH!: "Phonetic spelling of the acronym HUA, which stands for 'Heard Understood Acknowledged.' Originally used by the British in the late 1800's in Afghanistan. More recently adopted by the United States Army to indicate an affirmative or a pleased response." - Urban Dictionary

"The Department of Military Science and Leadership, University of Tennessee claim HOOAH 'refers to or means anything except no' ... Regardless of its meaning ... the term is an expression of high morale, confidence, motivation and spirit." - WarChronicle.com

"The U.S. Air Force stole 'HOOAH' from the Army because we were part of the Army until 1947 and rather than waste a bunch of time coming up with something new and unique like "ROO-YAH" or "HAL-A-LOO-YAH", we said 'screw it, let's go with HOOAH' ... thanks Army ... HOOAH!" - CombatCritic

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CombatCritic's Travel Value: France

Friday, January 19, 2018

London, England: "Poetry" In Motion, Le "Mercury" Is London's "God" Of Value

Le Mercury

140A Upper Street

London N1 1QY, United Kingdom

Victoria Highbury & Islington Line

Phone number +44 20 7354 4088

Website: lemercury.co.uk

Prices: ££££

Mercury may be the Roman God of poetry, but Le Mercury is poetry in motion and London's God of value. Off the beaten path, yet worth the hike, take the Victoria Line to Highbury and Islington, turn right out of the station and walk 10 minutes to TravelValue heaven ... HOOAH!

Arriving 30 minutes before our reservation, thanks to an extremely efficient Tube journey, we were greeted warmly and seated at a table in the dark, romantic room surrounded by tables with white linen tablecloths each with a large candle on top. We started with bottles of Ochagavia (Chile - £16.95), an oaky, scrumptious cabernet sauvignon, and Hildon sparkling water (750 ml - £2.50).

The service impeccable, all starters are just £4.45 ($6.15) and all main courses £10.95 ($15.15 - except the steak which was £12.95 - $18), a bargain for the quality and flavor. My wife ordered the Chèvre Chaud Grilled Goats' Cheese starter with a salad garnish and basil pesto sauce and I had the Moules Marinière (mussels) in a white wine and cream sauce with "shallots, garlic, lemon and parsley". The goat cheese tart was tastefully presented as well as being light, yet savory, and flavorful. My mussels were plentiful for the price, but there was little sauce and what was there was a tad bland with nary a hint of the shallots, garlic or parsley as noted in the description. Still, they were flavorful and a good value.

For our main courses, my better half had the Asperges et Cheddar Tart, small cheddar tarts topped with asparagus spears in a balsamic reduction and a sliced avocado garnish in between the two. She did not care for the dish, as I thought might be the case, because of the balsamic vinegar which she is not a great fan of to begin with. I gave her half of my Entrecôte ă l’échalotte (grilled rib eye steak), served in a lovely shallot and red wine sauce, along with some of my chips (fries for you Yanks - £1.95) in return her second tart. I thought that the tart was quite delicious, but I am quite fond of balsamic and the avocado garnish was a nice, complimentary addition.

I was stuffed, so no dessert for me, but my "sweet"-loving wife (she is "sweet" and "loving too) had to have her favorite, Crème Brûlée (£3.45), which was a bit on the small side, but scrummy nonetheless.

At £63.42 ($87.90), including a 10% service charge, we ate like kings and queens, appropriately enough. A comparable meal would have easily set us back $110-$125 in the States. The sole "Bomb" deduction is due to the not-so-flavorful sauce the mussels came in and the damp slice of bread that came in our first basket, which they apologized for and quickly replaced.

CombatCritic Gives Le Mercury 9 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Nine Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "U.S. Marine Response To A Verbal Greeting Or As An Expression Of Enthusiasm"

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