Washougal, WA: 2 Rivers Left Me In A Father's Day River Of Tears

2 Rivers Bar and Grill
1700 Main Street, Ste 110
Washougal, WA 98671
Phone number: (360) 210-7987
Website: 2riversbar.com
Prices: $$$$

I received an extremely odd "welcome", if you can call it that, as I walked through the doors for the first time, having delayed my initial visit after reading their many mediocre reviews and allowing them time to work all the bugs out. As I stood in front of the huge bar, the man serving drinks, whom I will assume was the owner, asked me, "can I help you?", to which I replied with some amazement, "Yes, I would like to sit down and eat some food, please". Why else would somebody walk into a restaurant if it was not to sit down and eat a meal? What do I look like, a bible salesman? What a stupid question.

I ordered a pFriem IPA ($6), but was not asked if I wanted water, which I was desperate for after walking 18 holes of golf in the Father's Day sun. The IPA was decent, but $6 is a tad high if they hope to draw a crowd, especially early on a Sunday evening when they had just a smattering of customers. You can get similar IPAs around town for $4 to $5, so why should I spend an extra buck to come here?

I learned a couple days after my visit that the Father's Day Special was a "Prime New York Steak with peppercorn sauce, garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus", YUM!, but I did not see it advertised anywhere and they did not communicate the special to me, so I ordered a 1/2 pound Cheeseburger ($15) with bacon, grilled onions, and garlic aioli, also coming with a side of french fries. The burger was obviously not handmade in house, probably frozen, and the grilled onions and garlic aioli, if there were any at all, must have been wrapped up in the overly crispy folded-up clump of bacon they stuck on top of the burger (see photo). The "cheddar cheese" was apparently of the processed variety, white, very thin, and perfectly square and the burger was dry, even after putting some mayo on the bun. It was not very flavorful. With nary a garnish on the big white plate, the burger looked more like a slider (see photos) than a 1/2 pound burger.

BTW, I was repositioning the plate to take photos for my review when the owner blurted out across the room: "Do you want me to take it outside so you can get a better picture?". The other people at the bar laughed at me, as if it were funny, but I found the comment extremely rude, completely uncalled for, and very unprofessional. 

The space is nice, although sparsely decorated, but they should have kept the massive wood-fired pizza oven left by the previous occupants instead of replacing it with an overly large bar which dominates the large room. We needed a good mom and pop Italian restaurant with red and white checkered table clothes and chianti bottles with wax from recently departed candles dripping down the sides, not another modern, gastro/brew pub of which there are far too many in our area.

Based on the many other less than stellar reviews posted recently and my questionable Father's Day experience, it seems as though the owners have already given up. How can you expect a new business to thrive if you do not even bother to publish a website for months after opening and serve customers frozen burgers and fries, charging $15 for an inferior burger to the one I can get at the bar across the street for under $10. Here it is eight months after opening and they have still not even bothered to list a website on their Yelp page ... MEH!

I received a very negative and slanderous reply (as well as a similar DM) from "Derik", the alleged owner of 2 Rivers, after writing this review, so I thought it appropriate to update my review and downgrade my rating, which I have done. Derik called me a "vagrant" and "creepy", resorting to making up a story about me rather than take responsibility for their horrible customer service and rude behavior. He is a liar. Here is his public reply to my review:

Comment from Derik F. of 2 Rivers Bar and Grill 
Business Owner

6/23/2019  So this review made us finally get on Yelp on respond to people even though we know most people get on Yelp to complain or try to get something for free.

This guy walked in and we thought from his appearance he was  a transient we had to ask to leave weeks before.  He walked in started walking arond and looking very strange. It made many other customers uncomfortable. I asked how can I help you, and he blurted out I want to eat. He was advised he could take a seat anywhere he liked.  He sat at the bar and immediately people seated close by started to shuffle down. I asked if I could stay let him with anything to drink. He asked a couple questions about beer and decided on one.  He was given a menu and he looked it over and started doing weird things under the counter. Another customer pulled me aside and said he thought he was trying to take pictures of the female servers.  I immediately went back over to the bar and he put his phone away. I asked if he needed anything and he had a few questions and decided upon a burger.  He was checked on many times and continued to act strange. My goal at that point was to get him served and out of the location so he didn't continue to make my staff or customers feel uncomfortable.  His food came out and he pulled out his phone under the counter again.  I wanted to make sure he was aware we knew what he was doing, so I stated " we can take the food outside if you want better pics". He quickly put his phone away at that point and are his burger quickly.

When he was done I removed his plate and gave him his check.
He never made any attempt to clarify what he was taking pictures of and why he wanted pictures of the food or servers.

He paid his check and left some business card about being the "Combat Critic".  I remitting guy from stalking our Facebook page and being rude before we even opened.

Anyway, it gave a lot of people at the restaurant a good laugh when I shared that he thought he was some sort of world wide food critic/chef/ consumer crusader.

He is very awkward and not allowed in our location.

As far as food, he's trying to give a bad review because he was caught being a creeper taking pictures.   Be aware of this one.

I am a highly decorated retired Air Force lieutenant colonel and combat disabled veteran. I was wearing golf attire that day, golf shorts, a new, collared Under Armor shirt, and a pair of white Nike Air sneakers. If I looked like a vagrant, Derik must be used to Beverly Hill's vagrants. I take great pride in my military service as I do my integrity and honor. I resent being called a vagrant and have my character defamed by a whining business owner who cannot accept the truth ... 2 Rivers Bar and Grill's management is out of control and guilty of defamation of character.

They currently have a D+ Rating by the Better Business Bureau (BBB), which will like drop further after the BBB complaint I recently filed, and will soon have a civil lawsuit on their hands for publicly defaming my character, simply to make excuses for their terrible food and disgusting behavior.

CombatCritic Now Gives 2 Rivers Bar and Grill 1 Bomb Out Of 10 And A Spot On My "WALL OF SHAME" ... Go There, While You Still Can, And Be Insulted By The Owners ... More Bombs Are Better!

One Bomb Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Fucked Up Beyond All Repair"

Read More Reviews By CombatCritic:

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Read Chris S.'s review of 2 Rivers Bar and Grill on Yelp

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Title: Washougal, WA: 2 Rivers Left Me In A Father's Day River Of Tears

Key Words: Washougal, WA, 2 Rivers Bar and Grill, Father's Day, 2, rivers, two, burger, steak, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, Yelp, Zomato, TripAdvisor, Google, Facebook

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Vancouver, WA: My Cameo Appearance Was A Rousing Success ... Good Show!

Cameo Cafe

7703 NE 72nd Avenue

Vancouver, WA 98662

Website: cameocafe.com

Phone number (360) 253-6341

Prices: $$$$

I tried to find something I did not like about Cameo Cafe, but I was woefully unable. In the large parking lot adjacent to Club Green Meadows, Cameo Cafe's building is obviously dated, reminiscent of a 1970s diner, and with somewhat unkempt landscaping lining the front. The interior is also dated, but serviceable. Ambiance is not a strength, until you enter the rear garden, adjacent to and overlooking one of the holes on Club Green Meadows' golf course, it is full of beautiful flowers and tables with large umbrellas ... rELaXeD!

We met a friend for lunch on the patio on a perfectly beautiful spring day. Not in the mood for a cocktail from their adjacent bar, we had coffee and ice water instead. My wife ordered the French Toast ($8), I the Bacon Cheeseburger ($11.50), and our friend the Chicken Bento ($11).

The french toast's three large, thick slices of texas toast were battered and fried, then topped with maple syrup and sprinkled with powdered sugar. My wife absolutely loved it and at just $8, it was not a bad value.

My burger was ENORMOUS, a half-pound of ground beef on a toasted brioche bun along with bacon, cheese, grilled onions, lettuce and tomato. It was one of the best burgers I have had in a long time and a TREMENDOUS value at just $11.50, including the hot, crispy fries. The french fries had a seasoned coating which I have not seen before, but they were tasty and fried to perfection as previously stated - hot and crispy.

Our friend had the chicken bento, but I did not mooch a taste although he seemed as if he enjoyed it very much ... HOOAH!

The service was very friendly and efficient. They opened the patio for us, cleaning off a table just because we asked if we could sit outside as it was such a nice day. 

I was a bit hesitant to try Cameo Cafe because of the odd menu, a menagerie of eclectic breakfast, lunch and dinner items, including egg dishes, biscuits and gravy, sandwiches, COLOSSAL soup, fish & chips, and stir fries, among others. I am sure glad we decided to go because the perfect spring day was only that much better, accompanied by a scrumptious, filling lunch in a beautiful setting with a good friend. What more could I have asked for?

CombatCritic Gives Cameo Cafe 9 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Nine Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "U.S. Marine Response To A Verbal Greeting Or As An Expression Of Enthusiasm"

Read More Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp "GOLD" ELITE '14/'15/'16/'17/'18/'19 

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Read Chris S.'s review of Cameo Cafe on Yelp

Tabelog - Official Judge - "Silver"

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... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube and our sister channel, CombatCounselor Chronicles, with Over 1,250 Subscribers and 1,000,000 Video Views ... HOOAH!

Title: Vancouver, WA: My Cameo Appearance Was A Rousing Success ... Good Show!

Key Words: Vancouver, WA, Cameo Cafe, cameo, cafe, Portland, OR, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, Zomato, TripAdvisor, Google, Facebook

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Washougal, WA: Don't Run With Bagpipes, You Could Get Kilt ... And Become A Kilted Spirit

Kilted Spirits Irish Pub
1926 Main Street
Washougal, WA 98671
Phone number (360) 844-7186
Prices: $$$$

With all of the cold, modern decor and TVs, it looks more like a sports bar or restaurant than an Irish pub. The service was excellent, but that could have been because we were practically the only people in the place at 6pm on a Sunday.

They have a nice selection of draught beers at fair prices, all running $5 or less for a US pint (regular price). I had the Irish Death Dark Ale, a thick, delicious dark beer reminiscent of German bocks or dunkels ... YUMM! My buddy had one of the rotating IPAs, but I cannot tell you anything about it because he has OCD and would not let me taste it.

Their menu selections are much more limited. They have a couple of sandwiches, but they only come with their homemade crisps (potato chips) which were a bit too much on the burnt side, even for me. I would have preferred some homemade steak fries (chips) with my Reuben Sandwich ($13). The reuben was very tasty and loaded with lean corned beef and sauerkraut, but $13 is a tad high for a sandwich and potato chips - $10 to $11 would likely be more appropriate. You can also get a bowl of soup for $12 or Irish Stew in a bread bowl ($14), Bangers (sausages) and Mash ($13), or Shepherd's Pie ($14 - it is actually "cottage" pie because it is made with beef - shepherd's pie is traditionally made with lamb or mutton in the UK, so I would think an Irish pub should know the difference). You can also get a hamburger, but they only offer a 1/4 pound (4 ounce) patty instead of the 6 to 8 ounce patties most decent brew pubs offer. Finally, my friend, who is vegetarian, had a choice between a $9 pretzel or the $8 onion rings, so if you are vegan or vegetarian, you may want to go somewhere else. He went with the onion rings, a normal size order of so-so rings that would cost $4, half the price, pretty much anywhere else.

They apparently have live music on Friday and Saturday nights, so that is a plus, being the only bar in or near Washougal offering that option. I was a bit disappointed because they are not that much different than the other mediocre brew pubs/bistros in the Washougal area with similar, boring offerings and excessive pricing.  If their food menu were as reasonably priced as their beer menu, they would get a much higher rating from me. The place could also use a little charm or ambiance and some more good Irish ales, like Caffrey's, if they want to be more like an authentic Irish pub. They also do not bother offering a website to their customers, which tells me that they lack some of the basic business acumen required to be successful in an extremely competitive industry.

CombatCritic Gives Kilted Spirits Irish Pub 5 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Five Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Continue Mission"

Read More Reviews By CombatCritic:

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Title: Washougal, WA: Don't Run With Bagpipes, You Could Get Kilt ... And Become A Kilted Spirit

Key Words: Washougal, WA, Kilted Spirits Irish Pub, Irish, Ireland, pub, kilt, spirit, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, Zomato, Google, Facebook

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Portland, OR: Four QC Concerns During Our First Visit Led Me To A Mediocre Rating

Deschutes Brewery Portland Public House 
210 NW 11th Avenue
Portland, OR 97209
Pearl District
Phone number (503) 296-4906
Website: deschutesbrewery.com
Prices: $$$$

Needing some chow before the play we were going to see at The Armory, which is just next door, we decided on Deschutes because of its proximity and Portland's inclement, crappy weather that particular evening.

The place was packed on a Sunday evening around 6pm, a surprise because downtown Portland is not normally particularly busy on Sunday nights in our limited experience. We were told it would be a 30-40 minutes wait, too late to eat and still get to he theatre in time, but we happened upon a table in the bar that was just being vacated by a very nice young couple ... we're in!

I ordered a Clearly An Imperial Ale (IBU 70, ABV 6.7 - $5.75), but was not particularly hoppy about the snifter it came in. I guess I should have read the small print, but my eyes, along with a few other of my body parts, are not quite as good as they used to be. DRAT!

We decided on an IPA Pretzel, coming with melted Monterey Jack Cheese Sauce and Black Butte Porter Stone Ground Mustard ($10.50) as an appetizer. The pretzel was piping hot, straight out of the oven, crispy outside and soft inside, but the cheese sauce was lukewarm and a bit of a bummer.

I tried to order another beer before our meals arrived, having asked three servers that had come by over a ten minute period to drop off the pretzel, fill our waters, and so on, but they all told me I had to wait for the bar staff. About 10 minutes later, a male server finally came by with another snifter half-full of the same IPA, but I told him that I had planned to order their Extrafjordinary Porter ($6.25). He took the IPA back, giving me a strange look as if the faux pas was somehow my fault. The porter arrived a few minutes later and everything was copacetic.

I went with the Pub Burger w/ Bacon and Garlic Fries ($18.25) and my wife the Black Butte Porter Mac & Cheese ($15.75). My burger was quite tasty, coming on a toasted brioche bun along with a side of fries covered with garlic sauce and an unknown grated cheese. The fries were also lukewarm and the garlic sauce a tad chilly, another QC problem and the third (cold pretzel sauce and wrong beer) in our short time there. My wife's Mac & Cheese came with some very odd looking pasta and there was hardly enough cheese sauce to coat the pasta. The presentation was OK, but there were drops of extra cheese sauce scattered around the rim of the bowl. It was also extremely bland with not enough sauce and very little flavor - QC problem #4. The server was nice enough to remove the Mac & Cheese from our bill, a very nice gesture, after we told him about the lack of flavor in the dish.

The ambiance of the large room was quite pleasant, reminiscent of the Pacific Northwest with lots of carved oak, open doorways, tall windows, and old photos and paintings on the walls. We had a decent meal and enjoyed the space, but the problems and positives resulted in a zero sum outcome and a very middle of the road rating from me.

CombatCritic Gives Deschutes Brewery Portland Public House 5 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Five Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Continue Mission"

Read More Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp "GOLD" ELITE '14/'15/'16/'17/'18/'19 

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Read Chris S.'s review of Deschutes Brewery Portland Public House on Yelp

Tabelog - Official Judge - "Silver"

Zomato - #1 Ranked "VERIFIED" CONNOISSEUR (13) - Over  4 Million Review And Photo Views ... And Counting - #1 Reviewer in Portland, Oregon!

Booking.com - Frequent Traveler "Genius"

Google Maps - "Top Photographer" With Over 3 Million Views!

... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube and our sister channel, CombatCounselor Chronicles, with Over 1,250 Subscribers and 1,000,000 Video Views ... HOOAH!

Title: Portland, OR: Four QC Concerns During Our First Visit Led Me To A Mediocre Rating

Key Words: Portland, OR, CombatCritic, Deschutes Brewery Portland Public House, Deschutes, beer, brewery, public, house, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, Zomato, TripAdvisor, Google, Facebook

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Washougal, WA: Great Haircut + Fair Prices = My Highest Recommendation

Washougal Barber Shop

1922 Main Street

Washougal, WA 98671

Phone number (360) 835-2302

Prices: $$$$

I had hesitated to try this barber because they do not advertise prices in the window or on the wall and they do not have a website as far as I can tell, but I decided to mosey on in one sleepy morning last week.

I received a friendly greeting from the owner and her two doggies, one a black Bulldog puppy and the other an older Yorkshire Terrier. I asked about prices for a haircut and was asked if I was retired. Having replied to her question in the affirmative, she told me $12 ... SOLD!

Unlike most of the chain shops with young, inexperienced beauticians, I was engaged in pleasant conversation while she cut my hair, finishing the job with a complimentary razor cut, hot towel, and short massage on the back of my neck. The cut was exactly as I had asked for, no modifications required.

I have finally found my new go-to barber, something I have not had since my retirement from the Air Force. I will return here from now on and recommend that you do the same if you want a good haircut at a reasonable price when in Washougal.

CombatCritic Gives Washougal Barber Shop 10 Bombs Out Of 10 And A Spot On My "WALL OF FAME" ... More Bombs Are Better!

Ten Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: 

HOOAH!: "Phonetic spelling of the acronym HUA, which stands for 'Heard Understood Acknowledged.' Originally used by the British in the late 1800's in Afghanistan. More recently adopted by the United States Army to indicate an affirmative or a pleased response." - Urban Dictionary

"The Department of Military Science and Leadership, University of Tennessee claim HOOAH 'refers to or means anything except no' ... Regardless of its meaning ... the term is an expression of high morale, confidence, motivation and spirit." - WarChronicle.com

"The U.S. Air Force stole 'HOOAH' from the Army because we were part of the Army until 1947 and rather than waste a bunch of time coming up with something new and unique like "ROO-YAH" or "HAL-A-LOO-YAH", we said 'screw it, let's go with HOOAH' ... thanks Army ... HOOAH!" - CombatCritic

Read More Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp "GOLD" ELITE '14/'15/'16/'17/'18/'19 

• 650,000+ Views A Year

Read Chris S.'s review of Washougal Barber Shop on Yelp

Tabelog - Official Judge - "Silver"

Zomato - #1 Ranked "VERIFIED" CONNOISSEUR (13) - Over  4 Million Review And Photo Views ... And Counting - #1 Reviewer in Portland, Oregon!

Booking.com - Frequent Traveler "Genius"

Google Maps - "Top Photographer" With Over 3 Million Views!

... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube and our sister channel, CombatCounselor Chronicles, with Over 1,250 Subscribers and 1,000,000 Video Views ... HOOAH!

Title: Washougal, WA: Great Haircut + Fair Prices = My Highest Recommendation

Key Words: Washougal, WA, Washougal Barber Shop, barber, shop, hair, haircut, style, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, service, business, review, Yelp, Zomato, TripAdvisor, Google, Facebook

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