St Joseph, MO: Patee House: An Eclectic Menagerie Of Missouri Memorabilia

Patee House

1202 Penn Street

St. Joseph, MO 64503

Phone number (816) 232-8206

Web: ponyexpressjessejames.com

Prices: $$$$

Patee House is St. Joseph, Missouri's only National Historic Landmark and was listed in True West magazine as "one of America's Top 10 Western Museums" in 2008 and "one of 1,000 Places to See in the U.S.A. & Canada Before You Die".

Built in 1858 as a luxury hotel, Patee House served as the Pony Express headquarters from 1860 to 1861 and during the Civil War, the Union Army occupied the building, using it as their Provost Marshal's office and holding war trials in the ballroom.  Adjacent to the home of the infamous outlaw Jesse James whom was shot and killed there by Bob Ford, the James family stayed and were interviewed in the hotel after his death.

The Patee House Museum features two full floors of exhibits where you can climb aboard an 1860 train, ride the vintage "Wild Thing" carousel, or explore an 1877 railroad depot, stagecoach, cars, trucks, fire trucks, wagons, buggies and carriages, Jeeps, horse-drawn hearses and a real gallows among much, much more. Entry for adults is a fair $6, considering the abundance of historical artifacts and memorabilia. You should allow 1-2 hours depending on how much detail you want to get into.

The collection and exhibits are eclectic to say the least. There is junk and there are treasures. Historic American battle flags sit next to stuffed animals and a full-size locomotive. The woman at the front desk was unfriendly and when I asked if they had a "military discount", she looked at me like I had a penis growing out of my forehead. Patriotism! The young woman at the back entrance was much nicer and informative, telling me the history of the carousel and how they got the locomotive in the building.

Patte House is definitely worth a visit if you find yourself stuck in St Joe, needing a couple hours to kill. The Jesse James house sits right outside the backdoor, but other than the bullet hole in the wall from Jesse James' murder, nothing is apparently original and the bullet hole is even questionable. The house is very small, so if you want to spend $4 for a 3-minute tour, knock yourself out.

CombatCritic Gives Patee House 6 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better! 

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Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

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Title: Historic Patee House: An Eclectic Menagerie Of Missouri Memorabilia 

Key Words: Patee House, patee, house, museum, hotel, Pony Express, civil, war, landmark, national, historic, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor

St Joseph, MO: Historic Inn + Dilapidated City = Slightly Overpriced Accommodation

Whiskey Mansion Bed and Breakfast

1723 Francis Street

Saint Joseph, MO 64501

Phone: (816) 676-1529

Website: whiskeymansion1885.com

Prices: $$$$

A beautiful, restored historic mansion in a bit of a sketchy neighborhood in St Joe stand as stark contradictions, but once inside Whiskey Mansion the world outside is much less conspicuous. Having suffered arson and gutting back in the 1990s (from what I understood), this mansion, which was built by a whiskey baron back in 1885, has been meticulously restored to its former glory. Too bad the rest of St Joseph has not been treated quite so well.

Entering through the covered porch into the large sitting room, the formal dining room is straight ahead and the room where breakfast is served is to your left. A large entry hall leads to the ornate staircase that takes you to the guest rooms upstairs. On the second floor are seven bedrooms, five large with en suite baths and two "maids rooms" with a shared bath, one of which was our room ($89+tax, including breakfast). 

The rooms are nicely furnished with antiques or reproductions and have TVs with cable, a small refrigerator, heat/air conditioning (Mitsubishi), and wi-fi. There is even a staircase lift for disabled guests on the back (servants) stairs.

Breakfast is served from 7am to 9:30am downstairs and from what I understand, French toast is the norm. Baked in the oven, two large pieces with maple syrup and globs of butter on top came on the plate along with a small fruit cup with fresh pineapple and honey dew melon cubes. The French toast was good, rich and sweet, but there was a little too much of a good thing and I would hate to know how many calories we consumed. Some eggs, bacon, hash browns, and biscuits and gravy would have been nice, but I do not think the kitchen has that capability. If you are paying $100+ per night for a room, you should get more than French toast and some fruit for breakfast. Coffee and tea were self-serve.

A historic and important river city, St Joseph was the hub for westward expansion in the 1800s  with Station #1 of the Pony Express as well as its headquarters and the prime railway embarkation point for Gold Rush travelers headed west. Unfortunately, there is not much happening downtown these days and many of the beautiful old buildings and homes have fallen into disrepair or have been boarded-up. If you are looking for things to do or good restaurants to eat at, you will be challenged in this "once" thriving town, making $100 per night and up for a room a bit of a stretch. I have stayed at nicer B&Bs in much more attractive locales for $75/night, probably a price more appropriate for St Joseph, Missouri.

Downtown St Joe is more like a "ghost town" and good food has also apparently disappeared from the locale. We tried two restaurants while in St Joseph, Il Lazarone, a pizza joint, and the Hi-Ho Bar and Grill, a dive bar with what resembles food. Both were not good, so good luck with meals. I hear McDonald's are plentiful in town ... yuk. So, with deductions for being slightly overpriced, the limited breakfast menu, the lack of decent restaurants in the area, and the dicey neighborhood ...

CombatCritic Gives Whiskey Mansion B&B 7 Bombs Out Of 10 ... Bombs Are Good!

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Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

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Title: St Joseph, MO: Historic Inn + Dilapidated City = Slightly Overpriced Accommodation

Key Words: Whiskey Mansion Bed and Breakfast, Whiskey, mansion, bed, breakfast, B&B, hotel, inn, Francis, Street, St Joseph, Saint Joseph, Missouri, TravelValue, travel, value, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor

St Joseph, MO: Give The Hi-Ho The Heave-Ho If Hungry In St Joe

Hi-Ho Bar And Grill
1817 Frederick Avenue
Saint Joseph, MO 64501
Phone: (816) 233-7363
Website: hiho-stjoe.com
Prices: $$$$

Across the street from the equally mediocre Il Lazzarone you will find the Hi-Ho Bar and Grill. Again, Yelp reviewers raved about the food here, so we gave it a try. What a disappointment! It seems as though low expectations have become the norm among many customers in the region because I am continuously shocked by how appalling food and service turn out to be at places with four and five-star ratings (out of five). The highlight here was the nice guy behind the bar. The lowlights were the food, the prices, and his rude, blonde, female companion.

The companion, a young, blonde woman in her twenties, worked behind the bar and as a server. When we first arrived, I had to get out of her way as she forced her way past me to get to a table, no "excuse me", nothing. Then, after I noticed that a couple of drunk guys had turned the TV I was watching the National League Division Series between the Cubs and the Cardinals on away from me (so they could watch it - again, without asking), I asked her if I could please continue watching the game we had taken that table specifically to see. She said: "well, they've been at that table all day", to which I replied "so?". She finally went over and turned the TV back in our direction after rolling her eyes. She then ignored us for 15 minutes until the nice guy behind the bar came over to take our order.

We almost left at that point and probably should have looking back, but decided to stay and ordered a few different things to sample the menu. As appetizers, we had a beef "slider" with cheese ($3.58) and a deep-fried beef taco ($2.79). The slider was a tiny piece of frozen meat with American cheese between two tiny bun halves, that was it. Hardly worth the price. The taco was in a greasy flour tortilla, was otherwise not bad, but overpriced by $.29 to $.79. 

For our mains, we had a patty melt with onion rings ($8.99) and a Cuban sandwich with fries ($9.49). The patty melt's beef patty was small, there was hardly any cheese, the onions were almost raw (not "grilled"), and the onion rings tasted of fish because the frier obviously had not been cleaned in quite a while. The Cuban tasted decent, but there was not nearly enough meat or cheese and the fries were "OK".

Overall, the service was sketchy, the food mediocre at best, the prices too high, and the value just not there. 

CombatCritic Gives Hi-Ho Bar And Grill 3 out of 10 Bombs ... More Bombs Are Better!

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Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

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Title: Give The Hi-Ho The Heave-Ho If Hungry In St Joe

Key Words: Hi-Ho Bar And Grill, Hi-Ho, bar, grill, St Joseph, MO, Missouri, beer, food, restaurant, dive, rude, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor

Omaha, NE: Le Voltaire ... Très Bien!

Le Voltaire

569 N 155th Plaza

Omaha, NE 68154

Phone: (402) 934-9374

Website: levoltaireomaha.com

Prices: $$$$

With two medium size rooms and drop ceilings in the corner of a strip mall in Western Omaha, Le Voltaire does not exactly ooze sophistication. What it lacks in charm is compensated for by the friendly service, quality food, and fair prices. Our server never told us her name, but she was very nice and attentive considering it was a Friday night and the place was fully-booked, always a good sign.

It took our server 10-15 minutes to tell me she could not find our first choice of wine, a French Syrah, so I had to make another choice. With bottles of wine starting at $26, I found an excellent value in the Château Sainte Eulalie, Plaisir d'Eulalie, Minervois 2014 at just $27. It was a deep, medium-bodied red (40% Carignan, 35% Syrah, 25% Grenache) with hints of dark berries and spices that complimented my beef main course very nicely.

For our appetizers we had the Brie Josette ($8.95), baked brie served on toast with an apricot-cranberry chutney, and the gratin aux fruits de mer (seafood gratin - $10.95), bay scallops, shrimp and mussels in a béchamel sauce covered with cheese and broiled. The baked brie and chutney came on six small slices of their toasted baguette and while not the greatest appetizer I have ever had, it was an interesting and tasty balance between sweet and savory. My seafood gratin was a tad on the small side, but creamy and delicious with small chunks of seafood that balanced well with the more savory baked cheese topping.

Our main courses consisted of moules frites façon Jacques Brel ($17.95), 20 ounces of fresh mussels in a Lucky Bucket beer and bacon broth served with French fries, and boeuf Bourguignon ($18.95), a beef stew simmered in red (Burgundy, hence the name) wine, with carrots, mushrooms and onions accompanied by whipped potatoes. The mussels were plentiful and yummy, balanced well by the big chunks of bacon in a beer broth. My beef stew was a bit light on beef, but what was there was tender and delicious. The burgundy-based sauce was very well done and the whipped potatoes creamy just like they should be.

The only things that detracted from the experience (and my rating) were small details, but important ones. First, in a restaurant where you drop $100+ for a meal for two, there should be tablecloths. There were none. Second, when I made our reservation (for my wife's birthday) through OpenTable, I specifically requested a "special dessert", but her special day was never even acknowledged. We left without a formal celebration or a sweet ending to our meal.

The atmosphere adequate, the service friendly and efficient, the food tasty, and the prices fair, Le Voltaire is an excellent choice if you are craving French cuisine and an exceptional value and a pleasant surprise in the Midwest where quality, gourmet cuisine is a rarity.

CombatCritic Gives Le Voltaire 7 out of 10 Bombs ... More Bombs Are Better!

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Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

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Le Voltaire Restaurant

Title: Le Voltaire ... Très Bien!

Key Words: Le Voltaire, le, voltaire, French, restaurant, food, Burgundy, mussels, Lucky Bucket, beer, Bourguignon, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Omaha, NE, Nebraska, Yelp, TripAdvisor

St Joseph, MO: Memorable, But Not In A Good Way

Il Lazzarone

1628 Frederick Avenue

Saint Joseph, MO 64501

Phone: (816) 273-0582

Website: illazzarone.org

Prices: $$$$

Across the street from the equally mediocre Hi-Ho Bar and Grill, you will find Il Lazzarone.  Their website claims: “The Association of Vera Pizza Napoletana hereby certifies this establishment to sell true, authentic pizza Napoletana", so we had high hopes that this was going to be a memorable experience. It was memorable all right, but not in a good way.

The place looks more like a burger or barbecue joint than a pizzeria, having brick walls, wood floors, and country music blaring over the speakers. Not much ambience. We arrived at 7pm and you could shoot a cannon through the place without hitting a soul. We were quickly seated.

Glasses of average wine, Sicilian Nero d'Avola for example, started at $8, so I decided to have a "tap" beer. The menu said "ask server for selections" and prices were listed as "MKT", so based on the prices of the wine, I did not think the beer would be reasonably priced. It was not. If you like spending $1 an ounce for beer, this is the place for you! A 6 ounce Boulevard IPA (yes, that is the amount of beer I was served in the photo) was $7 ... $7 ... that is more than $1 per ounce ... MAMMA MIA!

I asked the server if the Caprese salad ($7) came with bread and she told me it did not. Nuff said, not ordering a Caprese, thank you very much.  But then she insisted that the "brushetta" (it is spelled bruschetta and pronounced brew-sket-a) was "the same thing", tomatoes and bread, same thing. I insisted that bruschetta (also $7) is not the same thing as Caprese and bread, having lived in Italy for three-and-a-half years, traveled extensively all over the country and married an Italian, but she would not be swayed. I guess we agreed to disagree because she walked off. I guess the customer is not always right, particularly at Il Lazzarone.

The pizzas come in red (with tomato sauce) and white (without), so my wife ordered the "funghi" (mushroom - which the waitress also mispronounced) and I the "carne" (meat - salame, sausage, and American pepperoni). The guys making the pizza in an authentic Neapolitan wood-fired oven were pleasant and helpful, so I asked who was trained or certified in Naples (a requirement of The True Neapolitan Pizza Association - Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana or AVPN - a designation they claim on their website, menu and walls). He told me that he was trained by his boss who received the certification. OK, close enough I guess.

Anyway, back to the pizza. My wife's pizza ($10) looked decent enough, right size and so on, but just was not pizza napoletana (Neapolitan pizza). The crust was good, but drier and crunchier than any pizza napoletana I have ever had (and I have had many - in Naples) and there was not enough cheese or mushrooms. My wife was generally pleased, but not elated. 

My pizza ($13.50) was smaller than my wife's, closer twelve inches in diameter, also with not enough mozzarella or "meat" and with an odd taste NOT reminiscent of pizza napoletana. Real ("vero" in Italian) pizza napoletana is made with very specific ingredients. Tomatoes from the Naples area with just the right color and acidity, for example, as well as specifically sourced olive oil, mozzarella, and wheat. The odd taste had to come from the tomatoes and I assume that they "seasoned" them, something that would NEVER be done in Naples. Crushed tomatoes and only tomatoes are the first ingredient added to pizza napolitana, no basil, no oregano, no garlic ... nothing ... tomatoes.

For the Midwest, the pizza was fair, but that is not saying much. The prices were twice what you would pay in Italy, even in Florence where everything costs an arm and a leg. A much better meal with two similar pizzas and a beer or half carafe of wine would cost around $16, less than half of the $33 plus tip we paid for this meal. Finally, the server should not have insisted that I was wrong about the Caprese and bruschetta. She could have also benefited from a larger tab (and a larger tip) by letting me have a Caprese salad and bringing me some damn bread. Caprese should not be eaten without a fork in one hand and a decent piece of bread in the other. Get a clue ... give your customers some bread when warranted.

CombatCritic Gives Il Lazzarone 4 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

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Title: Memorable, But Not In A Good Way

Key Words: Il Lazzarone, lazzarone, rascal, pizza, St Joseph, Joseph, MO, Missouri, Caprese, beer, wine, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor

"Amercia's Pastime", Major League Baseball, Is Un-American

The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball
Robert D. Manfred Jr., Commissioner
Address: 245 Park Avenue, 31st Floor
New York, NY 10167
Phone: 212-931-7800
Fax: 212-949-5654
Website: http://mlb.mlb.com
Prices: $$$$

As a lifetime Los Angeles Dodger fan, I have not had many opportunities to watch my "Boys in Blue" in the postseason since 1988, that's 37 years! We gave up cable, as many Americans are, because of the illegal monopolization of television as well as the ridiculous contracts and exorbitant fees charged by Time Warner Cable, AT&T, and others.

I can watch most any show on television using an antenna and pointing it toward our local affiliates broadcasting antennas. Sure, we have to watch commercials, but we have saved nearly $1200 since dropping cable. I can also watch the Kansas City Chiefs football team, live, a mere 50 miles away at Arrowhead Stadium, over "the air" for free. However, if I want to watch Major League Baseball (MLB), I have to get cable, even to purchase and stream online at MLB.com. MLB is obviously in bed with the cable companies and could care less about Americans, baseball fans, excluding those of us without cable from watching the postseason.

I have been trying for weeks to find out from MLB how I can subscribe to MLB-Postseason online after having watched the regular season online on my computer, but I was repeatedly told "we don't know if or when PostseasonTV will be available, just check our website from time to time". Really? MLB does not know if they are going to broadcast the postseason online just a few days before the end of the season? How can that be possible other than through complete incompetence or total apathy toward fans?

Finally, on October 5th, 2015, the day before the Wild Card games were set to begin, a link to PostseasonTV magically appeared on MLB.com ... HOORAY! But I celebrated too soon. You have to live outside the US/Canada or subscribe to cable (through one of MLB's limited number of providers) to watch the postseason on MLB.com. You can apparently get part of the feed, not the actual broadcast, for National League games, but not the American League series or the World Series.

I then saw a link to their forum, so I posted the following:

MLB's answer was as useless as the ridiculously unsubstantial responses provided by their "customer service", and I use that term loosely, reps gave me before season's end. Here is the MLB moderator's response and my follow-up reply:

Americans should not be forced to pay to see "America's Pastime". Baseball was available FREE for decades, but now we cannot watch our favorite teams in the playoffs without giving-in to cable's thievery. This is un-American and MLB should ensure that EVERYONE has access to post-season baseball.

I implore Commissioner of Baseball, Robert D. Manfred Jr., to fix this problem ASAP and GIVE ALL AMERICANS UNRESTRICTED ACCESS TO AMERICA'S PASTIME!

C.T. Sorrentino

aka CombatCritic

CombatCritic Gives MLB.com and Postseason.TV 1 out of 10 Bombs ... More Bombs Are Better!

COMMISSIONER MANFRED AND MLB HAVE EARNED A SPOT ON COMBATCRITIC'S "WALL OF SHAME" (CLICK HERE)

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Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

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Title: "Amercia's Pastime", Major League Baseball, Is Un-American

Key Words: The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball, commissioner, baseball, major, league, MLB, professional, sports, America, pastime, postseason, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review

Refinished? No, I Am Finished With Amazon's Lies ... What A Waste Of Money!

I bought the three of the "Titleist Pro V1 Mint Refinished Official Golf Balls,12-Pack" from Amazon which states that these balls are "Refinished to mint condition for excellent play and great affordability". Well, they may be affordable, but they are GARBAGE! The cover on the balls scratches and cracks very easily, but the main problem is their aerodynamics. 

I'm a 15 handicap (former 9) and have been playing for 50 years, so I know a little about golf. I first started noticing the problems on my tee shots where a well struck ball would perform like a "knuckleball" through the air, moving up-down and side-to-side before landing well short of where it should have. I don't get a lot of distance these days (200-225 drives), but these balls where having difficulty going 160-170 yards. The balls look good at first glance, but if you look closely there are imperfections (bumps, cracks, smudges), particularly after a small amount of play.

I bought several boxes of refurbished balls from another manufacturer last year and was quite pleased with the purchase and performance, but DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY on these balls ... they are junk!

CombatCritic Gives Titleist Pro V1 Mint Refinished Official Golf Balls by Amazon 1 Bomb Out Of 10 And A Spot On My "WALL OF SHAME" ... http://www.combatcritic.com ... More Bombs Are Better!

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

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Title: Refinished? No, I Am Finished With Amazon's Lies ... What A Waste Of Money!

Key Words: Titleist, golf, ball, balls, refurbished, refinished, used, Amazon, Amazon.com, online, refinished, garbage, junk, internet, CombatCritic, travel, value, TravelValue